Issue #89: The Frankenstein Drag Queens from Planet 13 – The Late, Late, Late Show

Released:  1996

Recorded:  Early 1996

Genre:  Horror Punk

Record Label:  Uncle God Damn

Duration:  28:25

Producer:  Wednesday 13

Personnel

Track Listing

Singles

Why The Late, Late, Late Show is One of My Favorites

I can’t remember how I ran across these guys.  They originated right here in North Carolina, but I don’t remember that having anything to do with how I “discovered” them.  I ran across the name somewhere on the internet, way back in my early days of having the internet, so in a way, they were probably one of the first groups that the internet helped me to find.  All I had to do was hear (or read, in this case) the name of the band – The Frankenstein Drag Queens from Planet 13 – that was enough right there; I was sold instantly.  Horror movies, transvestism, and space all rolled into one ridiculous band name?  I just knew from that moment on that I had to hear these “guys.”

As it turned out, finding music from them wasn’t easy.  I suppose if I’d had a care back then there were still enough independent record stores left in 98 or 99 for me to have found one of their records, but I was 13 (or so) and my resources were limited.  But I was persistent, and eventually I found a couple of low quality streaming tracks of “Mr. Motherfucker” and “Scary Song,” both from the following album Night of the Living Drag Queens.  Being somewhat techno-savvy at the time, I was able to save these streams and for a couple of years, those two songs were my fix when it came to The Frankenstein Drag Queens from Planet 13 (henceforth known as “FDQ”).

Then file share started getting big.  Not quite Dr. Dre and Metallica vs. Napster big, but large circles were popping up on IRC and services like BearShare, LimeWire, Aimster, Kazaa, WinMX, etc. were in their infancy.  Back then my 56K modem couldn’t handle much, and the 2GB hard drive on my first computer could handle even less.  I even remember installing an internal CD burner into that ol’ desktop; I even had an iOmega ZipDrive with 250MB disks to hold more music (though like everyone else’s, within a few years the drive had ruined the disks).  Still, at 56K, these were slow to fill up.  And at the time I was much more into collected actual CDs and I used the web more for single songs.  Long story short, I finally tracked down some of FDQ’s material – 2 full albums in fact.  So I patiently trudged through and downloaded both The Late, Late, Late Show and Night of the Living Drag Queens in an era where only the elite were downloading and archiving full albums.  During this time I downloaded several B-sides and demos from bands like Manson, Nine Inch Nails, and Korn, but these albums might have just been the first albums I ever downloaded!

Long backstory, I know.  So how’s the music?  Just as deliciously trashy as the name implies.  They remind me of a younger predecessor to the group Bile (I haven’t covered an album of theirs yet) as well as a combination of the kinderwhore tendencies of early Marilyn Manson and Jack Off Jill, and (most directly), the early work of the Misfits.  It’s all shock and schlock to be sure, but it’s fun in a dirty sort of way just like trashy horror movies.

The music is nothing mindblowing or even terribly original, though it has a dark, campy feel to it that’s bouncy and reasonably satisfying.  Power chords churn away rhythmically, drums and bass do what the ought to, and Wednesday 13 (who would later front the Murderdolls) does his best “scary voice.”  It’s a bit scratchy and sinister with a humorous and droll quality, like the creepy host of some late night horror anthology series.  Various samples are included throughout the album, continually reminding me of Portrait-era Marilyn Manson sans Reznor’s industrial touch and Berkowitz’s skill with the guitar.  Production values aren’t wonderful, but they’re decent enough.  Imagine the late 70’s work of the Misfits with less melody, more camp, and an inflation of all the horror and sci-fi concepts that made the Misfits memorable.  Throw some acceptable production into the mix and add a dash of Manson’s intent to shock and awe with genderbending and purposely freaky imagery.  Sprinkle in some of Bile’s irreverence, vileness, and promotion of anti-social behavior, and you’ve got a pretty good picture of FDQ.

The bizarre and blatantly offensive lyrics are easily the most interesting part of The Late, Late, Late Show.  Horror imagery from everything between the old Universal monsters and 80’s slasher franchises is tied into sex, religion, and spaceships, and the wacky concoction set to simple but catchy punk stylings works out perfectly.  Songs sound similar but not identical; there’s room to get into each and every one of these short pieces, and the brisk running time provides the perfect dose of this weird, offbeat material.

“Galactic Chicken Shit” contains the unforgettable line, “Supersonic chronic vomit,” while “God Damn I Am” proclaims “God’s a fag / because he dressed in drag.”  “197666” reminds me of a modern day “Where Eagles Dare” (from the Misfits) and continues to push the envelope with “I don’t wanna commit suicide / I just wanna commit homicide!”  “The Wolfman Stole My Baby” at first plays out like a weird horror punk version of the Ramones’ “The KKK Took My Baby Away” but then ends on an interesting note – “That’s what ya get when ya walk with that pussy out!”  “Count Down…Planet 13” speeds along at a furious pace, brilliantly closing the album with a touch of melody and one FDQ’s strongest songs.

The Late, Late, Late Show may not be a “can’t miss” album, but it’s a hell of a lot of fun for horror movie fans and those who like their punk with a wallop of absurdity.  It isn’t remarkable music by any means; in fact, it’s just competent enough to have a raw sort of appeal, though I can’t help but to indulge.  For anyone who may have wondered what a more controlled recording from Danzig-era Misfits would’ve/could’ve sounded like, FDQ’s The Late, Late Show is a damn good start.

Written by The Cubist

Other albums from The Frankenstein Drag Queens from Planet 13 in this series:

• 1998 – Night of the Living Drag Queens – Issue #90
• 1999 – Songs from the Recently Deceased – Issue #96

Back to The Cubist’s 90’s Albums

Written by The Cubist

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I collect as much video gaming paraphernalia as I can get my hands on, especially when it comes to hardware. With over 40 systems including oldies like the ColecoVision and Intellivision, obscurities like the CD-i and 3DO, and the latest and greatest including the Wii U, PS4, Xbox One, 3DS, and PS Vita, I get easily overwhelmed. Most of the time you can find me firmly nestled sometime between 1985 and 1995 when it comes to my games of choice, but I’m also having a great time seeing what the 8th generation has to offer.

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