Sarus Vakarian’s Bacon Bits

December 30th, 2015

Just a quick note about something I received in the mail… An illusive package from Japan.

I came home from work feeling about as adequate as cold oatmeal to see a long package in my room.

That moment when the fear of someone sending you a dildo weaves into your reality...

That moment when the fear of someone sending you a dildo weaves into your reality…

What in the absolute fresh hell is this thing?!

It all began with a clusterfuck of bubble wrap...

It all began with a clusterfuck of bubble wrap…

At this point, I had some idea of what it was, but I had to be sure…

What in the absolute fuckery...

What in the absolute fuckery…

But then, oh. Oh, yes.

YESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYES

YESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYES

I finally received my beautiful Pikachu rolling pin!

I fancy myself to be a semi-talented baker when it comes to all things Pokemon (well, when my man-love isn’t frosting the cookies for me because I’m drunk as shit off of Kahlua), so, after getting this after about a month of waiting really put a sparkle in my smile, and I just had to share it with the Nerd Bacon community.

I cannot wait to beat the shit out of people with this.

I cannot wait to beat the shit out of people with this.

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October 3rd, 2015

It’s time to start smashing pumpkins and partake in snorting orange cocaine through a Tootsie Roll wrapper again! The autumnal essence surrounds us with promises of haunted slaughter houses, pumpkin spice lattes, and diabetes (from all of that candy, of course. Unless you trick-or-treat in the neighborhood that only gives out pennies or potato chips).

I’m going to be very busy this October playing horror games, going to Satanic sing-a-longs, and of course, preparing for Youmacon.

In addition to the Five Nights at Freddy’s 4 DLC that will be surfacing in everyone’s Steam libraries this Halloween, I’ll be dabbling in the likes of The Vanishing of Ethan Carter and White Night. These two are very similar in their general creepiness and mystery, borrowing elements from the noir genre and likes of H.P. Lovecraft. Life Is Strange: Episode Five also arrives October 20th (*excited screeching*), and you guys can expect a gameplay video of that.

Um, what was that one bit about a Satanic sing-a-long…?

Well, boys and girls, I attended with a concert in a small venue with my comrade, NerdyFriend, in the beautiful (eh?) Detroit, Michigan. I’ve recently taken interested in a metal group called Ghost and this was my first time seeing them live.

PHOTO COPYRIGHT JOHN McMURTRIE 2015

Needless to say, their take on Catholicism is quite clear.

I had the time of my life. There was a warm feeling of community and love in that small venue, and I left there with a new spirit in my heart. And that spirit stayed with me while shuffling through the plastic cups and beer cans that decorated the sticky floors, crossing the broken down streets of downtown Detroit, and all the way up until I woke up hungover this morning. Ac It was quite the religious experience.

For the rest of the month, a majority of my energy will be spent preparing for Youmacon. I’ve decided to cosplay as Toy Chica from the Five Nights at Freddy’s series for Saturday (Because it will be HALLOWEEN). I’ve never done a full furry get-up and I don’t intend to do one now. My version will be more of a vintage 1987 waitress look that will be as close to Toy Chica as I can get. This is what I have so far:

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

Frivolous spending or a nerdy investment? Maybe a bit of both.

If you’re not familiar with FNAF, this is the character look that I’m going for:

KFC knows how to advertise!

KFC knows how to advertise!

If there’s room, I plan on using that bright pink fanny pack to give candy to the kids who aren’t afraid of me.

Well, I’m still kind of hungover, so that’s really all I have to say for now. I’ll be updating the cosplay progress periodically up until Youmacon!
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OOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHH A BLOGGY BLOG BLOGGERSON!!!!!!!

I suppose being a writer means you get to expose just how wicked your brain really is to the innocent, unassuming public…

Don’t say I never warned you guys.

Peace.

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