South Park: Phone Destroyer – Android

Platform: Android

Developer: RedLynx, South Park Digital Studios LLC

Publisher: Ubisoft

Release Date: November 9, 2017

Genre: Role-Playing

Nerd Rating: 8.5 out of 10

Have you ever wondered what it would be like to carry the kids of South Park in your pocket wherever you go? Probably not because that’s a little weird, but regardless of whatever obscure South Park fantasy you may have (I’m looking at you, Yaoi artists), South Park: Phone Destroyer is sure to please any fan of the beloved series. When I first installed the game, I hadn’t seen any game footage and was expecting a South Park styled side-scroller with cheeky dialogue. I didn’t anticipate being launched into what felt like an episode of the show.

The game begins with the children of South Park arguing about what game to play, including Stan, Kyle, and Kenny. Cartman barges in dressed as a Sheriff and demands that they all play Cowboys and Indians, suggesting that the New Kid (the player) can assist using his/her smartphone.

Cartman contacts New Kid through FaceTime. And no, you can’t ignore his calls. I tried.

Thus begins a digital card game where story progression is told through a group chat with all the kids (and sometimes parents), and the levels are presented as battles throughout South Park. Each episode of battles is encompassed by different themes as the boys continuously argue about which games to play. Each theme has an ultimate boss battle starring on the of the four main characters: Stan of Many Moons, Cyborg Kenny, the Ninjew, and Grand Wizard Cartman. Different genres of cards contain pirates to religious figures, and even pop-culture throwbacks via characters like Gizmo Ike (well, we have been really high on the 80’s lately). Each character has a unique ability to aid in battle, and cards have specific energy costs that restore over time. The cards themselves have a range of classic to new characters, like Big Gay Al or PC Principal. At the time of this writing, I’m hoping a Towelie card will be released soon.

Randy Marsh can do no wrong.

There’s a shortcut menu set up on New Kid’s smartphone that contains links to an avatar editor and a wardrobe. There’s also a card pack shop where you can buy cards with real money, but it’s not necessary to progress through the game. The best way to level up cards (and yourself) is through the PvP battles at Butters’s house. Defeating opponents in real time rewards you with items to increase health, attack, speed, etc. Sometimes it is required to play a few PvP battles in order to continue the main storyline, but it’s also a fun and powerful way to level up outside of the main gameplay.

PvP battles are a great way to pimp out your cards!

Unfortunately, when building a deck, you’re only allotted two themes in one deck. For example, my go-to deck has sci-fi and adventure themes, but I wouldn’t mind a couple of mysticism spells for good measure. The upside to this limitation, however, is that there’s a decent number of cards that are of neutral status and can be placed with any deck themes, even if there are two themes already.

Overall, anyone who is a fan of the show can enjoy South Park: Phone Destroyer, even if you haven’t played Stick of Truth or Fractured But Whole. The music is on point, which is something you can rely on with any South Park production. And with entertaining challenges and a hilarious story and dialogue, South Park: Phone Destroyer makes for a nifty game for your smartphone.

Written by Sarus Vakarian


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Sarus is an alien; training under the best of the MemeLords in a town that is South of Southern Canada. She hates Mass Effect, Invader Zim, Tomb Raider, South Park, and heavy metal. Sarus currently has two Hellhounds under her care.
Feel free to add her on Steam under the name: Commander Lara.
Twitter and Instagram: Sarusvakarian.

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